TENGAN CUIDADO…¡POR DIOS!
Tener las cejas perfectas de acuerdo a nuestra cara puede resultar todo un reto y una odisea. A pesar de que hay centros que supuestamente ofrecen un «servicio especializado» y resultados milagrosos (jaja) las cosas no siempre salen muy bien. ¡Tengan mucho cuidado! Queremos compartir con ustedes una historia de una de nuestras amigas y artistas favoritas: Nichole Fiorentino.
BROWING IT UP
“Poseo una GRAN cantidad de cejas en mi cara, las cuales se acumulan cual pozo millonario y llegan a hacerme ver como neandertal. En lo personal, no soy fan de verme como un neandertal, así que prefiero remover el exceso de neandertalidad de vez en cuando. Hoy fue uno de los días que dije ¡YOLO! y decidí ir a un lugar famoso de cejas que me han recomendado varias veces.
COMPUTARIZADA X 1000
Al llegar fui bombardeada con la palabra «computarizada» unas 20 veces por una señorita súper amable que prosiguió a tomarme una foto clásica de rusa adicta al crack, la cual pasó a la compu para pasarle por el tan afamado programa de computarización de cejas. (Cabe recalcar que de fondo sonaba un vallenato nefasto)
DESCUBRIENDO EL AGUA TIBIA
Señoras y señores, este afamado y reconocido programa es nada más y nada menos que… el Photoshop de hace 5 años y el sistema de forma de cejas es un vector puesto encima, copy paste. Luego te ponen encima una plantilla de ceja, clone tool, y te rellenan con multiply la misma plantilla pintada de café. #advancedtechrighthere
Después de que la señorita comprobó que mi músculo atrofiado es la causa que una de mis cejas este permanentemente en bitch mode prosiguió a tratar de convencerme para que me depile con hilo. A todos ustedes que me vienen con «¡ay no duele que exagerada!», permítanme darles un apretón de manos y decirles ¡qué suerte que tienen!, mis cejas son como pelos de jabalí y simple y llanamente equivalen a 3 pelos suyos. Así que agradezcan al Dios de su preferencia o su genética maravillosa la falta de sensibilidad en el área cejosa.
Me explicó también que mantienen el largo y el grosor de la ceja, así que me quede tranquila de que no voy a quedar como Jefferee Star sin maquillaje. Después de explicarle que no va a haber fuerza humana que me convenza de hacerme con hilo, prosiguió a depilarme con cera, un método que no duele tanto para mí.
No sé cómo la señorita piensa que crece el pelo, pero el hilo y la cera funcionan igual, arrancar el pelo de raíz y si me hago con cera o con hilo no voy a alterar la genética de mis folículos «dejando huecos».
Después de aguantar la sentada de dolor y nefastez me pasan un espejo y my oh my…. ¡THEY’RE THIN AF!
Tragedia: La una se ve más delgada que la otra «para compensar la chuequedad de la otra», «porque es necesario delinear las cejas siempre». BITCH, si hay algo de la neandertalidad que aprecio es el hecho que no tengo que estarme pintando 2d brows.
Así que si, don’t expect many selfies any time soon.”
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